I am completely over her, and now that I look back, I see how stupid it was for
me to beg her and wait for her for so long; but it was all part of the
process. This was my first real relationship, I shared my life with her for
five years, I lived with her for three years, and I thought I was going to spend
the rest of my life with her at one point. This was also my first real breakup
and it taught me a lot. I am still single and at this point, I am not looking
for anyone. I had not been this happy in many years and right now, I just want
to enjoy my life, focus on myself, and do things I enjoy doing without all the
stress of being in a relationship. I will find the right person whenever God
decides that it is the right time.
Now that I look back I realize that God has a plan for everyone. My
relationship with her was always a mistake for various reasons, that is why we
were never truly happy. We were just not meant for each other and I can see
that clearly now. It took me almost an entire year to get completely over her,
but now that there are no feelings involved I can see that it was not real
love. I loved her because we shared many special moments together, but I am not
and was not in love with her, I was simply used to always being around her
and to doing everything together. All the pain that I felt was due to her
hurting my pride by putting me aside and due to her leaving me all alone. I did
not know what to do with myself; I was scared of what was coming and scared of
change. I had never been without someone by my side and I was just terrified.
On top of that I was hurt by all the things she did to me as a friend.
I know what to expect in the future now. Things always happen for a
reason, and better things always come. I am thankful that she left me and that
she never got back with me because I learned and discovered many things about
myself and about life. I discovered who I really am as an individual and what I
really want to do with my life. For the first time ever I am comfortable
with being single, being alone at home, doing things on my own, planning my own
schedule, and hanging out with whoever I want whenever I want to. All of this
would not have happened if she had not left me. All that pain and experiences
made me a better and stronger individual. I renewed my spirituality, found new
hobbies, matured a lot, and now I am ready for whatever God has planned for me.
Life is great, don't ever doubt it.